Unemployment = Shit
Unemployment is shit. It’s like a form of mental sabotage. First thing in the morning when you wake up an evil little part of your brain says, “Good morning! No reason to get up today!” So you roll back over and don’t get out of bed until just before noon—on a weekday.
My unemployment adventure began just over a week ago when my job contract ended and I was put on a mandatory three-month “vacation”. And since I haven’t gotten my first unemployment check yet I’m technically not even on unemployment, I’m just straight unemployed.
I’m considering my brief income-less window as my little grace period of slight depression—just a week or two of mild self-loathing coupled with short stints of self-destructive behavior while I tell myself things will get better. Next week I’m even planning on starting to use my alarm clock again.
Battling my desperately optimistic outlook is my realization , “Holy shit I’ve barely been unemployed for a week and I’m going fucking nuts.” Reason number one: people. There are no people when you’re unemployed. Just you, yourself, and the internet—BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS AT WORK. I like people and being around them and at my last job I was lucky enough to even like my co-workers. Fancy that. So now I’m living the worst of both worlds: no people, and no monetary reward for talking on Gchat.
Thankfully some of that sweet, sweet unemployment money should start rolling in next week which will alleviate some stress, as suddenly being without a source of income is an extremely unsettling idea. That’s how people become homeless. Then once I do start getting those checks I get to fight off feeling guilty for receiving money for nothing, which is ironic because getting money for nothing sounds like many peoples’ dream come true. Unfortunately I’m a sucker who enjoys having something to work at. I enjoy the reward of not just doing something, but doing it well. So, whenever that whatever is taken away and I’m left to my own devices it’s easy for me to shrug my shoulders, look around, and ask, “What now?”
…And so…what now?
Well, what now is an ass-kicking—my own ass, not anyone else’s (yet.)
What now is I take time out for myself since I actually have time. Because as much as I enjoy the security of a job there’s no denying the emotional, mental, and even physical tolls all of our jobs take on us.
Hey, want to go on a run after work?
Meh, it’ll be pitch black and pouring rain.
Want to go out for drinks?
On a weeknight?! Don’t you know what time I have to wake up tomorrow!?
Well, how about we just watch a movie?
Sorry, won’t have time ‘cause I’ve got to work OT and once I’m done I actually am gonna go on that pitch black rainy run and then by the time I’m home and showered and fed it’s time for bed. Gotta get up tomorrow and do it all over again. Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
Except all of that above is the exact opposite of where I am now, because, shit—I’ve got all the time in the world for the next three months. And once I start looking at this time like that, as an opportunity, it makes me feel a lot better. Now I can do all those things I wanted but didn’t have time for—provided they’re within an unemployment check budget, of course. Oh, and within a relatively close and comfortable walking distance because my car is dead and needs a new alternator… but that’s a worry for another time.
The Wind Rises - Official Trailer
If Pixar Studios had a baby with Akira Kurosawa it would be Hayao Miyazaki.
Studio Ghibli, co-founded by Miyazaki, is the only animation studio on the planet which produces movies that compete with the likes of the Toy Story series or Finding Nemo, or even with the tops of the Disney classics. They simply make magic, and Miyazaki is one of the main reasons why.
Keep an eye out for this to not just win Best Animated Feature at the Oscars, but to be nominated for Best Picture itself, becoming one of only three other animated films to ever be nominated (Beauty and the Beast, Up, and Toy Story 3.) Unfortunately it won’t become the first to actually win because 12 Years a Slave seems like it has that shit on lock. And I’d put money on Alfonso Cuarón to take Best Director for Gravity… Hell, while we’re at it I’ll double up that Chiwetel Ejiofor takes Best Actor, and Michael Fassbender, Ejiofor’s character’s slave master, wins Best Supporting Actor. Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen, come and place your bets now while it’s nice and early…
Finally! Back in college I’d get high and sit outside on my deck and think about how to improve public transportation then go back inside and ramble to my girlfriend about how magnetic levitating trains were the future, so it’s nice to see someone finally taking my stoned ideas seriously. Thanks, Japan.
As good of a card as last night’s overall was, the bullshit of the main event can’t help but stink up the evening.
Johny Hendricks got fucked. Simple as that. Johny Hendricks beat the shit out of Georges St-Pierre, then was robbed by an archaic judging system and incompetent judges in an infamously corrupt city.
To say the decision last night was frustrating would be kind. It was borderline slimy.
Unfortunately I don’t have an answer to solve the problem of the 10-point must scoring system, which is an antiquated system devised to score an entirely different sport—like trying to referee hockey using soccer rules—but it’s clear from last night’s fight we need one.
It’s obvious something needs to be changed when one fighter:
1. Clearly wins at least three of the five rounds.
Never fucking returning to Las Vegas until the current judges are fired and replaced with some borderline competent ones would be a good start.
Thankfully besides the bullshit of the final fight the rest of the night went well. Hell, even the prelims were good. Donald Cerrone won with a killer triangle choke to submit Evan Dunham. Thales Leites dominated Ed Herman with brilliant and brutally effective Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Rick Story repeatedly rocked Brian Ebersole in the face for the unanimous decision. And the main fights were all mostly satisfying too—two highlights being Tyron Woodley knocking the fuck out of Josh Koschek (above), and Sugar Rashad viciously ground and pounding Chael Sonnen into a TKO.
Yes—despite the tragedy of the main event, which just slightly compromises the integrity of the UFC and leaves everyone thirsty for justice, it still managed to be a good night for fights.
Lady Gaga - SNL Opening Monologue
Gotta give it to Gaga for this great opening monologue. Witty, funny, and entertaining all at once—plus she gets to show off her strong-ass voice. And at the end just her ass.
“Russian President Vladimir Putin has been awarded the highest rank in taekwondo. The Russian president has now eclipsed the likes of martial artist and actor Chuck Norris, who is reported to have an eighth-degree black belt in taekwondo.”
- BBC News
Queen - Radio Ga Ga, Wembley Stadium 1985
From the get-go when Freddie M grabs the mic stand and starts swinging it around and strutting his stuff to the first chorus when all 72,000 people clap along, this is one hell of an amazing performance. And how does Freddie Mercury’s voice sound so flawless in real life? It’s like cheating.
Fun fact: This song title is where Lady Gaga got her name.
The Who - Young Man Blues, Isle of Wight 1970
Goodness fucking gracious this whole performance is just unbelievable.
Roger Daltrey sings his lungs out.
Pete Townshend windmills the fuck outta his guitar.
Keith Moon beats his drums like Mike Tyson.
And all the while John Entwistle is dressed as a skeleton off to the side just standing still and chill as all hell while not only keeping up with the three madmen to his left but at times exceeding them despite looking like he might be frozen aside from his arm flying up and down the neck of his bass and his fingers plucking the fuck out his bass in a relentless blur of pounding rhythm.
Francis Bacon - Three Studies of Lucian Freud
Last night this painting sold for $142.4 million dollars, so if you’re in the market for one hell of an expensive painting and happen to have a cool $142.5 million dollars laying around then well do I have a deal for you…