December 2008
31 posts
Man robs bank, leaves his address behind →
Moron robs bank, leaves his address behind might’ve been a good headline for this too.
Speaking of morons... →
How about Ben Lyons?
For those of you not in the know, Ben Lyons is possibly the worst “critic” to ever watch a movie and talk about it.
In fact, Lyons called Will Smith’s “I Am Legend”—-QUOTE—-“ONE OF THE GREATEST MOVIES EVER MADE.”
You know, I don’t even want to talk about this guy anymore, he makes me want to die just thinking about...
Barack the Magic Negro →
Just when you thought you’d seen it all after this election, Chip Saltsman, one of the candidates for the Republican National Committee, proved that he can still take politics a notch lower.
Saltsman, who I previously mentioned as being a candidate to head the RNC, thought it’d be a good idea to send a CD full of songs with titles such as “Barack the Magic Negro”,...
Egyptian teacher kills student for not doing... →
I might be drunk, but I’d death penalty this motherfucker.
23 years old and you’re punching 11 year olds in the stomach for not doing their homework? Yeah, the US should illegally extradite this Egyptian shit and hang him up by the neck.
Also, I think I’m going to have to start my own club called “Liberals Who Love the Death Penalty”.
Li'l Hitler can't get cake →
Although it is discrimination the parents are still morons.
Lil' Wayne makes too many songs →
Including one called Michael Phelps, which he gave to Michael Phelps on an iPod.
“Phelps was overwhelmed when he met the rapper for the first time at the MTV Video Music Awards in September.
Phelps recalls, “Lil’ Wayne presented me with this iPod which contained 40 unreleased songs he had recorded - and one was called Michael Phelps.
“In that song he just keeps rapping...
Romantic comedies make people delusional →
This really isn’t that surprising, but it’s always interesting when science can prove how easily manipulated we are.
Don’t believe what you see on TV, folks!
6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain →
This kind of stuff is my favorite in the world, much more interesting than politics.
Top 10 Quotes of 2008 →
Surprise, surprise, the winner of this year’s, “Don’t tase me, bro!” is none other than the Ice Queen herself: Sarah Palin. Although to be accurate the winner is Tina Fey’s impersonation of Palin, but hey, people liked Fey’s version of Palin a lot more than the real one.
“1. “I can see Russia from my house!” — Comedian Tina Fey, while...
Pizza man defends self with pizza →
Poor pizza man—at least he got away.
Effing teenagers.
Juno is an awful, unrealistic, overrated movie... →
I still can’t believe how many people bought in to this POS movie. The one encouraging thing about this movie’s success is that it gives other writers like myself hope by showing how you don’t have to write a good movie to win an Oscar.
It’s also hilarious how people seemed to completely overlook the pro-life message in it, which the rant I linked to discusses. I watched...
Actor almost accidentally commits suicide on stage →
The arts are so competitive.
The Roots to be Jimmy Fallon's house band →
Wow.
The only problem is that Leno is getting a new show before Conan comes on, so that will be three talk shows in a row. We’ll see how that works.
Democrats get dirty too, try to sell Obama's... →
Whoops. Looks like the governor of Illinois is fucked.
“The day after the election, according to the affidavit, Mr Blagojevich was recorded as saying: “I’ve got this thing and it’s [expletive] golden, and uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for [expletive] nothing.”
You know how I know he’s fucked too? Because my main man Patrick Fitzgerald, my favorite...
Brainless war grunts used grenades to kill... →
As if the war in Iraq isn’t already the biggest disaster in American history, here comes news that members of Blackwater, the borderline illegal mercenary group the US hired for “security”, killed 17 innocent Iraqis with both machine guns and grenade launchers.
There’s not much I want to say about this besides that it’s absolutely, disgustingly deplorable, and...
Greedy CEO can't call it quits, wants $10,000,000... →
Some people are just selfish, greedy, assholes, and John Thain, the CEO for Merrill Lynch, just proved that he’s number one.
Thain, who has only been working for Merrill Lynch for one year, wants a $10,000,000 bonus for failing to do anything positive.
“Merrill Lynch reported losses for every quarter this year, and has lost more than $11 billion in 2008.”
Yes, let us reward...
Matt Hasselbeck smacks Ben Roethlisberger in front... →
During a Q&A at a local Washington middle school:
“Do you think girls should be allowed to play in the NFL?” one girl asked.
“Girls can play in the NFL. Ben Roethlisberger plays for the Steelers, right?” Hasselbeck said, in a playful flashback to Seattle’s Super Bowl loss three seasons ago.
You heard it here first, folks.
Man won't let others sing karaoke, gets killed →
Karaoke is serious business. Hell, everything is becoming serious business these days.
Newspaper steals Empire State Building in just... →
“The News swiped the 102-story Art Deco skyscraper by drawing up a batch of bogus documents, making a fake notary stamp and filing paperwork with the city to transfer the deed to the property…Less than 90 minutes after the bogus documents were submitted on Monday, the agency rubber-stamped the transfer from Empire State Land Associates to Nelots Properties LLC. Nelots is...
